Random rambling

Religious Controversy

I’m not going to go into it all right now, because I have one foot out the door and the other under the desk, and I’m starting to develop a cramp.  So I’ll stick to the basics and round it out later, when I get tired of wasting my time dicking around elsewhere.

I was born into a religious household.  Christian of some sort, but I’m not sure what denomination, because the whole family joined the Episcopalian church and I was baptized at the same time when I was about 7 1/2 years old.

I never liked it.  I would join the choir purely to have extra singing time (I’m a lyric soprano) and so I could stay awake.  Later, I married a Lutheran and eventually joined that church.  They hymns were better, but they make you hug them midway into the service, and I hated that.

In my early 30s, I became a Pagan.  Mainly what’s called a hedge-witch, which I still am, even though I don’t believe in deities any more.  Not sure I did back then, either, but there you go.

Now, I consider myself an atheist, because I’ve actually read the bible and I can’t believe I was going along with all that perverted shit for so long.  Fair warning: if you are a Christian and you try to defend your faith here, your comment will not be approved.

It’s very hard to shake off a lifetime of being enmeshed with religion, but I’ve made lots of changes in my life, and changes take time.

So I’m taking time, but I am pretty sure coming out the other side, I will be free from that particular bondage. 

Okay–it’s Friday and time to Party.  Have a great weekend.


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5 thoughts on “Religious Controversy

  1. Just wanted to make sure you were aware of a follow up comment on CA. I’d understand if you weren’t hanging out there, for the moment. Apologies for the delay.

    • No need for apologies. I am so relieved that somebody saw through my clumsy attempt and understood what I had meant to say.

    • @alpakitty; I am so sorry you were attacked and silenced just for trying to set the record straight and defend me. I had no idea my comments would cause such anger. I had no idea what to do with it and still don’t.

      With the offensive barbell comment I was trying to address the LW’s desire to give up and stop carrying the burden of gender authenticity. It was badly expressed. However if anybody had asked I would have tried to explain. People can’t decide whether to be right or left-handed either but they do try to change in order to fit in. That is all I was trying to say.

      Anyway I am sorry you had such rancor aimed at you on my behalf.

      • Honestly, I don’t think I expressed myself all that well, either, and some of what I said I probably shouldn’t have attempted in the first place; I brought a lot of that down on myself. The thing is, I don’t disagree with some of the points made, in the abstract. I just felt they were somewhat misapplied — or perhaps applied with excessive zeal? — in this particular instance. (For example, I still think you were offering sympathy, and they reacted as if you’d offered presumptuous empathy.)

        There’s a dynamic that seems to arise again and again on the blog that I think of as “the righteousness of the wronged.” These folks have been wronged, no doubt about it. As a consequence, they’ve gotten really good about policing their interactions with “outsiders,” taking no shit. Which is fair and a desirable goal I would want for them to achieve — since I do sincerely wish them only the best. I even agree that if an “outsider” offends them, it is not their job to be nice about and it and engage that person in a kind and thoughtful discussion of why x and y thing that the outsider said was problematic. That could be a full time job.

        The one thing I hate is the way it (combined with internet anonymity) does seem to bring out a sort of polarizing righteousness — “Put your foot wrong, and we will gleefully vilify you, misquote/misleadingly paraphrase you, and do everything we can to drive you off as if there is NO difference between you and our worst oppressor. We will pretend we can see into your soul and that it is a very dark and twisty place.”

        But please don’t feel responsible for my leaving CA. I have felt this way before, in terms of the way people express their differences there — such as back when CA herself was vilified for her initial reaction on that GAD thread (again, acknowledging she was wrong, I still think folks were downright gleeful and nasty about how they handled it). I actually took a break because it really changed how I felt about the “community,” but went back to it because I still had the power to clear the spam filter, and I still felt bad for people whose comments got stuck in the spam filter. And when I clear the spamfilter, I see every single comment as they arise… and I get overinvested again. That’s why this time, when I decided to step back, I asked CA to revoke my administrator privilegs and ban me. It’s just not a good place for me anymore — and in CA fashion, I am forcibly giving myself closure!

        Best wishes to you. I know you’re a fine person.

      • I think trans people have every right to feel defensive and to defend themselves. I feel, though, like somebody who doesn’t speak the language but inadvertently uses an offensive word and is demonized for it. My daughter’s roommate and best friend is a transgendered woman and she is very dear to me. She never seems to have a problem with me, but maybe she was just being polite. Face-to-face interactions are so different from what goes on in writing on the internet.

        I was going to just drop it and not respond, but when the guest moderator jumped in after a few people had commented, I felt I had to say something. I was hurting and felt like the help I had offered hadn’t been received by the right person. I’m still worried about the LW not getting hir meds checked.

        I also agree with some of the points people made, but when somebody hurts or offends me, I ask for clarification before I start jumping all over them. But that’s me, and those folks are all raw nerve endings. I’m pretty vulnerable, myself, and know how it feels to be dismissed and dehumanized. My feelings were not important in that thread and I should have kept them to myself.

        I wrote to CA to apologize to her for unintentionally causing hurt and effectively hijacking the thread. She explained that she didn’t kick you out and that you asked to be banned from the site for now. I only feel responsible for your disappearance from that site in that I didn’t know what to say and left it up to you. I thought you were eloquent, but then, you and I speak the same language, so I guess it didn’t come across that way to anybody else.

        That’s a good way to put it, by the way:

        ” The one thing I hate is the way it (combined with internet anonymity) does seem to bring out a sort of polarizing righteousness — “Put your foot wrong, and we will gleefully vilify you, misquote/misleadingly paraphrase you, and do everything we can to drive you off as if there is NO difference between you and our worst oppressor. We will pretend we can see into your soul and that it is a very dark and twisty place.”
        and I couldn’t agree with you more. I think part of it is the effect of extreme youth, plus people really want to be tribal, and putting perceived enemies’ heads on stakes around one’s territory is a way people achieve that. Only well-meaning allies sometimes get caught in the crossfire.

        I believe you to be a good, kind, thoughtful person. Neither you nor I intended anybody to be hurt or marginalized or patronized. I hope we can use this as a learning experience somehow and come out on the other side.

        Again, thank you so much for letting me not be alone with this. I’ve had a long history of being bullied, and this felt like that, though I know that wasn’t the intention. I think you were very brave to speak up. If nobody ever gets mad at you, it’s because you never stood up and spoke your piece.

        I understand where you’re coming from, and I hope things take an upturn from here for you. I have the greatest respect for you and the kindest of feelings.

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